Saturday, December 18, 2010

Life is getting back to normal... sort of

*sigh* I had wishes to keep up on my blogs and keep the wheels turning in my brain for insightful things, reading, etc. Well, pregnancy and now taking care of a newborn really threw that out the window! :)

I'm finally to the point that I'm making dinner again most nights of the week, and some days I actually get some cleaning done! *gasp* I'm just now getting to old emails and things on my computer that I have been putting because of this beautiful baby that has sucked the life out of me that last few months, mashaAllah. I love her for it.

Alhamdulilah, I love the new dynamics of our family. I love watching my husband be a father to a beautiful baby girl, and my older daughter be right at my side all the time asking if she can dress her, change her diaper, hold her, etc. Hehehe... and I thought she was going to be annoyed with a little baby around.

InshaAllah I can get back to writing about Islam and important topics. One thing that slowed me down is when I stopped taking classes... it removed the triggers for many of my posts! Well, in due time, I may get back to writing, but no promises as this new normal is quite busy.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


I'm fighting with the feeling of being incredibly lazy and the excuse of being 39 weeks pregnant. I stay home, so therefore the home should be in top shape... you would think. DD is 10 and she can help with a lot of stuff, but I don't want her doing anything and everything that I'm not able (or willing) to get done in a day.

I signed up for grocery delivery today. The selling point was the fact that I can use Internet and manufacturer coupons, plus the grocer's coupons and weekly specials, 90 days of free delivery, and I just so happened to come across a $20 Promo code for new customers! Grocery shopping takes me at least 4 hours to complete between going to the supermarket for the normal items, the natural food coop for dh's gluten free stuff, and the zabihah meat market. Now, I will just need to run to the meat market and I should be good to go, inshaAllah.

My eco-conscious is reminding me that I probably use more gas to make the 3 (sometimes more) trips to each store than the gas used by the delivery guy to make one trip to our apartment building (for multiple customers, I assume). Plus, I can take advantage of organic store brands to save money and buy more stuff organic, inshaAllah.

We looked at the cost of a maid even yesterday... but I don't think I could let myself get a maid when I stay home... it just feels wrong. I really shouldn't be that behind, but the belly is getting in the way!! InshaAllah this baby will come any day now and I can get some back and hip relief! Seriously, I swear the baby is so low that I'm going to look down and have a hand waving back at me. *sigh* Any time now... in the next 3 weeks. Oy... 3 weeks... that would be dreadful.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Last Trimester

Ack! My mind has been everywhere with finishing the classes for my diploma in Islamic studies, getting ready for baby, getting DD ready for school, and trying to keep up with the home. InshaAllah, it all comes together. DD is getting a great head start in school, mashaAllah. This last trimester is hitting me pretty hard as I found out I have gestational diabetes, but alhamdulilah, everything else is very healthy. Just the typical aches and pains of late pregnancy to whine about. I'm getting together the to-do list of things I need to get done or buy in the coming weeks. It gives me something to do and helps pass the time, alhamdulilah. Unfortunately, I can't fast this Ramadan because of the diabetes, but I'm trying to support those around me fasting and increase in my ibadah. InshaAllah the fasts and ibadah are accepted from all of our Ummah during this blessed time.

Monday, July 12, 2010

My Newest Obsession

I have recently become quite fixated on being more "green." I have focused on this in the last year especially (not working gives you time to look into what is important :) ) but in the last month or so, I've come across so many more ways we can live a more sustainable life! I'm bothered by how much compostable stuff we throw away inside a non-compostable garbage bag. We live in an apartment though so a worm box, instead of a compost pile outside, would be the answer... but it feels a bit too weird to implement right now, and the hubby likes it even less than I do.

Family cloth is another item that has come across my mind. Now, I don't feel that using it for #2 is where we are heading, but considering that we rinse after even doing #1, it doesn't seem that gross to use cloth instead of paper. I have bought a ton of fleece that I plan on sewing together in order to start doing family cloth for DD and I when we go #1. We even put a date on the toilet paper pack we just bought to see how long it lasts. After this pack is gone, I plan to get the exact same pack and again put the date on it, and see how much longer it lasts.

The current green things we do:
Grocery shop about 70-80% organic, use cloth bags for groceries, only use plastic bags for produce when absolutely needed, turn off heated dry on the dish washer, make sure dish washer/clothes washer is full before using it, reuse the same glass throughout the day (sometimes), recycle, buy used items when we can, sell our items instead of throwing them away, use water filter pitchers instead of buying plastic bottles, use eco-friendly cleaners from Shaklee including personal care items, DH takes the bus to work, use vegetable leftovers (outer layer of onions and ends, etc.) to make our own veggie stock, get local seasonal veggies from a local farm/CSA, make our own jams using the veggies from the CSA... hmmmm, that's all I can think of right now.

Things to do:
Cloth diaper baby, use cloth wipes for baby, family cloth for #1, reduce overall waste, unpaper towels, compost/worm bin

It's amazing what ideas you come up with when you are simply trying to plan for an upcoming child. :)

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Do We Look Outside of Ourselves?

We're faced again with a challenge of our faith. We ask that those around us who ask us to be Christian, at least understand what we believe. We aren't asking anyone to be Muslim... just to have a clue about what we believe. Frankly, I'm sick of seeing emails and literature that talks about how Islam is the black-man's religion and Christianity is the white-man's religion. Hello?!?!?! I'm white as paper, and while my husband tans nicely, he's white too. Do you think we'd get into a religion that taught us that white people are the devil? Ugh. Why is not logic and reason used. And why is what "makes you feel good" so dang important? It used to feel good to do bad things... but now, that doesn't feel good anymore. We instead need to stick with what is solid, what matters, and what is not going to change over time. The things that are important in this life, are not always going to make you "feel good." Heck, the baby just did a big flip in my belly, which didn't feel good. Labor isn't going to feel good either. That doesn't mean we run away from having kids.

I try to understand why we are faced with such opposition on something people know near nothing about. All I can come up with is fear - fear of what is outside of themselves. Do we all assume that we know everything, or that our pastor knows all? Any new idea is thrown out the window because it wasn't given to us on the silver platter of "what makes you feel good" or it wasn't presented in a way that matches what you believe already? Why are we always wrong when no one knows what we even believe? *sigh*

I just don't get it.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Daily Lessons

In an effort to make sure DD doesn't deteriorate over the summer, she will be working on some lessons. We went to our local Barnes and Noble to find some workbooks she likes. She picked out a Summer Links book that includes Math, Reading, and Test Prep and I was planning on that being the only thing she was going to work on, but she found an American History workbook that she wanted, so we purchased that as well. She absolutely loves History, so who am I to say no? In fact, we got a membership to our History Society so we can visit various museums and sites throughout the summer. She's so excited!

So each day she is assigned:
Math: 2 pages from her workbook
Reading: 20 minutes of any book she chooses and 2 pages from her workbook
Test Prep: 2 pages from her workbook
History: 6 pages from her workbook
Islamic Studies: 1-2 lessons from her ad-Duha curriculum (See a breakdown of this below)
Writing: Write a blog daily that includes a couple paragraphs or more on any topic of her choosing

So, before anyone thinks I'm being all harsh-like over her summer vacation, the first 4 items take her a half hour total (minus the 20 minutes of reading). Islamic Studies takes the longest, and she knew that we'd spend time on this over the summer because a) she doesn't have her weekend Islamic studies over the summer and b) the curriculum I just signed her up for this year is quite advanced, so she is a couple grades behind their expectation and we want to catch up.

With that said, here's the breakdown of ad-Duha. For anyone interested in an Islamic Studies curriculum for their kids, I highly recommend ad-Duha! Each one of these items is a lesson, and like I said, we will do 1-2 lessons each day, depending on time available.

Qur'an: Read 15 minutes of Qur'an every day. Qur'an lesson is reviewing memorized surahs and learning new ones.
Tafseer:  Learn the meaning of surahs, learn vocabulary words, and surrounding situation behind a surah
Names of Allah: Learn the 99 names of Allah and their meaning
Adi'yaa: Learn various supplications such as leaving the home, Ayat ul-Kursi, entering the masjid, etc.
Arabic: We are learning how to join letters currently

I'm expecting that we will work on these things roughly 4 days a week, but it being summer, we aren't super strict on it. I want to enjoy the summer and be outside (in the mornings, before it gets HOT) and enjoy time with friends before we get back into school and a stricter schedule. InshaAllah this summer will be highly enjoyable for both of us.

Done with school!!!

I'm so proud of DD!! She finished school 7 days early, mashaAllah. She really worked hard this year to exceed the goals set by her teacher, then she set a goal to finish by this Friday (4 days early), and she even exceeded that goal by finishing on Tuesday! Alhamdulilah, she is such a great student, mashaAllah.

So yesterday was our "first day of summer" and we started it beautifully. We went for a bike ride at about 8am, before it got too warm outside for us to really enjoy it. We came home to plant the remaining flowers on our porch and we cleaned up the porch by removing the bird's nest (yes, we removed it... I typically wouldn't, but seriously... they need to make it in a tree, not the side of a building, please), cleaning up all the bird poop from the chairs and cleaning the chairs generally, and sweeping the porch (including all said bird poop). I still need to throw away some stuff, but I'll get to that in due time.

We had a pretty relaxing day and made goals for what she's going to do this summer. She looked at the programs offered through our local Gifted and Talented Institute and made her top 3 picks which include Make Your Own Computer, Fencing, and Sonic Blast Rock and Roll (they make their own band). We made a chart that includes everything she should be doing every day, which does include some lessons four days a week. I'll include this on another post, for those not interested in our homeschooling stuff. :) Alhamdulilah, Kira loves school and learning, so she doesn't mind doing some work over the summer, and really, she is not even doing a half day in comparison to her normal school day. I told her she doesn't get to become a vegetable when the weather gets nice.

MashaAllah, I'm just so proud of her, and she's such a great kid! She helps with chores, does her school work, doesn't talk back. How did I get so fortunate?

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Yay! Ultrasound!!

Alhamdulilah wa mashaAllah, we got an ultrasound done yesterday! I was a bit worried I was having twins which, yes, I know is a blessing, but it is SCARY also! I'm not a big person, and I just think that one at a time is enough for me, inshaAllah. Baby is healthy and mashaAllah, in perfect order. I feel so blessed. Now, as the first child born into Islam, I need to learn the sunnah acts for its birth such as saying the Athan (call to prayer) in the baby's ear, having an aqeeqah, etc. So much to learn, but it feels like we have a ton of time because this pregnancy is going sooooooooo slow! I'm so excited to raise a child from the time it is born into Islam, because switching gears when DD was 7 (when I converted to Islam) was jarring for both of us, and we are still getting adjusted to it (no bacon, please)! Top that off with she is with her dad's family, who doesn't like the idea of her ever being Muslim and puts pork on her plate for dinner.... let's just say it makes her life that much harder and I'm afraid of her living a double life because she's being pulled in two different directions.

We have four Bibles at home; a Revised Standard Version, King James, Catholic, and Jehovah's Witness. She is more than welcome to pick one, preferably the RSV just because from my knowledge it has the most accurate text of the four, and read it. She says she plans on finishing the Qur'an first (she is assigned 15 minutes of reading Qur'an each day per a lesson plan we have setup on Islamic studies) just so she doesn't get the texts mixed up in her brain. MashaAllah, I'm proud of her for making a plan, knowing what is best for her learning, and continuing with her education.

So yeah, fun times. I really look forward to educating both DD and coming baby in Islam... it's the teacher and student in me.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Need to combat my short attention span

After watching an episode of Frontline about our technical age and they touched on the effect of this technology on our attention span, I started thinking about how long I pay attention to things lately. I take pride in my great multitasking ability, but I have a hard time sitting down and reading a book! So, I've decided that I need to make myself concentrate on one thing at a time, and make time to sit down and read books... you know, with paper and ink (no wai)!

It's hard to break old habits, and especially hard to change how much time you give to certain tasks. Staying on one webpage at a time or within one application on the laptop is especially hard. InshaAllah it'll get easier because I need to get back to the books including finishing reading the Bible, continue reading Qur'an (always) and just never stop learning, inshaAllah.

As for the computer, it is easiest when I have a task to complete, but with my free time... that still needs some work.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

5 Things I'm Thankful For...

A sister on a forum started a thread where you list 5 things you are thankful for. Here's my 5:

1) My husband - He's totally out of my league, and he has still yet to notice it.  :P   j/k, but I truly never thought that someone like me would marry someone like him. Alhamdulilah.
2) My children, born and unborn - Again, my expectations have been exceeded in a wonderful way in both cases. MashaAllah wa Allahu Akbar! I can't say how blessed I feel in this area.
3) Availability of education - With the Internet, so many opportunities arise, and I'm am very grateful that I get to take a part in them.
4) The community of Muslims in our area - We have such a great sisterhood and brotherhood. MashaAllah
5) Availability of fresh, natural foods - InshaAllah we can keep our family safe and healthy eating what Allah intended us to eat when he created all the foods in this world.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Teenager? Not Yet!

I feel like I'm already raising a teenager. MashaAllah, she is still very polite and considerate, but it seems like I'm correcting or scolding all the time!! For instance, washing her hair has been a big fight lately. It has progressively gotten worse and worse to the point where I had to tell her that we are cutting her hair up to her shoulders (it is about to the middle of her back right now). I can't let her keep it long if she's not going to take care of it!

So today I washed it myself. InshaAllah she notices the difference. I'm trying so hard to not make her feel bad, but it seriously looked so gross!! I reminded her of the hadith that cleanliness is half of faith... we Muslims need to be clean. Allah gave us this body and we need to take care of it in this world.

Other note - I want to build bridges between myself and family members so we aren't the outcasts because of our different faith. It seems though that the similarities are far less than the differences. If we talk about things down to their core and root topics, we agree, but I think the general assumption is that we are too far removed to agree on anything so things I talk about are "extreme" or I'm just some hippy in the 21st century. It feels so political. When did politics get so entangled in religion? I mean, Islam promotes religion and politics being hand in hand, but we're in the country of separation of church and state. Hmph... yeah right.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Life is good

Life is good. I didn't think that I would be content being a stay at home mom. I have projects that I'm working on like working towards a formal education in Islamic Studies, learning Arabic, working on my direct sales businesses, etc. Heck, managing the budget feels like a project just because we are in "pay off as much debt as quickly as we can" mode.

I always assumed that I would be really bored... and some days are more boring than others, but I couldn't imagine going back to a full time job (or even part time for that matter) and then trying to delegate tasks to my family. I mean really, I just don't think dinner, laundry, dishes and dusting is really going to start getting done all of a sudden.

Having a new baby on the way feels really exciting, but it feels like time is going by soooooo slowly!! I feel like I'm not far enough along to plan anything yet - I just sit back and let the baby bake until it's done. I'm sure that'll change as we start making arrangements and planning... I hope.

Only about one more month until Kira is done with school and we have a bit more time on our hands to do different things. We should be getting a good start on her ad-Duha lessons by then. I'm thoroughly enjoying watching Kira learn and grown within the folds of Islam and allowing her to teach me as well. I think she really enjoys that. We can all learn as a family, which I enjoy. I would love if we all sat down for studying together, but I think that's one of the things Moms just like to do and the rest of the family is like "ok, yeah, whatever."

I've also realized I really dislike motivating people in things I find are important and necessary. I feel like they need to come motivated with their own reasons and I'll facilitate the learning. Hm, I think I need to get over that and find a way to motivate.

Friday, April 2, 2010

Why wait?

You know, I've found so often in life that when I really, really want support from someone, anyone, it is so hard to find. I start waiting to do what I long to do, waiting for someone to tell me, "It's a great idea" or something of the like. Yet, I keep finding that no one is there and I just have to make the decision to do so myself. I have to lead the way and when I'm done, or established in my decision, I normally get the support I wanted from the beginning. Not always, but if it does occur, it is normally far later than I would like.

Lesson learned? Well, stop waiting for people. People are lazy and pessimistic. People only do what you force them to do half the time... especially if it wasn't their idea in the first place. Some people are all too ready to tell you how you failed - thinking they are providing you valuable information. Others don't give you any negative feedback and are "yes" people. I guess you have to listen to both and balance them. In the end though, it really is only up to you. If people support you, great, but don't count on it.

Sunday, March 28, 2010


Why does something that is supposed to make life easier, make things harder? We're supposed to keep everyone happy that we have ever met... whether it be coworkers, family, friends, whatever. Yeah right. Seriously.

So, I'm changing my Facebook account and I know this is going to deeply weed out my friends list, alhamdulilah. I can't keep everyone happy, and those that aren't happy need to either suck it up, or talk to me about it FACE TO FACE (no wai! oh my gosh! face to face?! who does that anymore!) *sigh*

In all fairness, it is my fault also for not taking the first step, but here's my thinking... I wasn't offended in the first place. So, when I know you're talking ABOUT me, should I step in and say "Hey, let's talk this over?" Yeah, sure, I should... but it is jacked and I'm not thrilled about being in this position, so let's just say I might not be in the best of moods to make it a valuable conversation.

Anyway, alhamdulilah for my friends who really are my friends! I love you guys, and you're quickly feeling like family! <3

Sunday, March 7, 2010


I'm so lazy lately, ugh! I hate that my motivation is totally gone and I'm always tired. Plus, nothing sounds or tastes good, other than girl scout cookies and saltine crackers. I'm not getting sick, it is just that I don't like the taste of anything and the smells bother me. Dang, I was hoping to not be such a wimp this time, but the hormones are winning!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Missing sisters and being lazy

There are so many things I want to share with my sisters on Facebook, like videos and articles and so many things! But, I'm not ready to go back... I'm still a bit angry about the actions that caused me to leave and so it still would not be healthy for me to go back. I miss my sisters though! So many around the world, and now it is scattered on how to keep in touch with them! Oh well, alhamdulilah for everything.   :)

I've decided to take on another direct sales business, Shaklee. I figure, what the heck, I really like what the company stands for and I'll get a discount on the products and if I make some extra money, mashaAllah. I'm falling behind in the calls I need to do for my other direct sales business, which can not be named on the Internet, hehehe. I've been really tired the last couple days and sometimes quite crabby. I still don't really feel preggo (other than a way sore chest, which keeps me from jogging), but maybe this is it catching up with me.

And then of course, there's keeping up with articles I want to write for my blog and friend's website... but the motivation escapes me to look up all the scripture and everything to write it with as much proof and thought as possible. Oh, and my SunniPath class that I'm not behind on. Did I take on too much, again? I don't think so... I enjoy having stuff to do. I'm just being lazy this last week.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Present Day? I think so!

I finally got my rectangle baker and 12" skillet, which I'm sooo excited for!! After having a relatively stressful day yesterday, and thinking about starting another direct sales business (yes, I'm trying to do everything I can to stay at home!), this is a very nice surprise. I'm so excited to use both items! I know I'll be making tacos in the skillet tomorrow, but what to make in the baker? Hmmm.

If that wasn't awesome enough, to top it off (well, this actually came first today, but it isn't completed yet) I got my federal refund today, so I'm officially shopping for a MacBook Pro! I have a bid in with one guy near me and I'm looking around for other deals to try and save some money instead of buying it brand new. InshaAllah I find a good deal, I'm really itchin' to get my own computer again!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Excitement and the dark cloud

First sign of pregnancy: allergies are back, in full swing. Man, my whole face itches including the inside of my mouth (big time) and my eyes. Alhamdulilah, I can take Sudafed and I'll try to keep it as low as possible, but I'm starting to consider getting rid of the cat because I think being pregnant, and I as found out - being on the birth control pill, intensifies my allergies to the cat. DD won't be happy. She loves animals. Hmmmm.

I grow in excitement as the news keeps sinking in. Next week, we're going to two birthing centers for initial consultations and to inshaAllah pick one for the prenatal care, labor and delivery. I love the idea of a birthing center instead of a hospital, and inshaAllah, insurance will help pay for it because I don't think we have an option if it doesn't.

There is the typical dark cloud though, hanging over our excitement and good news. Whenever something happy is going on for us, we are reminded that we are not followers of Jesus (uh, excuse me, yes we are.... we are followers of Allah and all the Prophets He sent down) and basically our good news is bad news to those that don't accept us. I think we're at excuse #70 for people raining our our parade, which means just a couple more times and they are done with me giving them the benefit of the doubt. I'm pretty fed up with all our celebrations in life being tainted by those reminding us of our religious difference. Don't you think you could just be happy for us, for yourself and the life achievements, for once? If not, leave. Go somewhere else with your sappy self and sulk where we are unaware. Ugh.

Sooooooooo, anyway, alhamdulilah for Sudafed... now too bad there isn't something for the very sore chest... it feels like someone is punching me in the chest when I go jogging! :)

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

The dream came true

MashaAllah, all that I had wished for, Allah granted. All that I have dreamed of lately, has come true, mashaAllah. I get to stay home, and now work from home as well, mashaAllah. I fear it all coming crashing down, but for now, I'm going to enjoy these gifts of Allah.

Our family is growing, mashaAllah. I get to be happy this time! I get to be excited! I'm allowed to be looking forward to our life ahead and I don't have people telling me how I am making a mistake and to somehow back out of my responsibility.

So, with this, we have to understand that things are going to be different than how our families expect. We are not baptizing our child, and we may not have a baby shower (not sure how to not have a baby shower... that's how people get half their stuff for baby, isn't it?), and most likely, just the knowledge that we're preggo is going to spark a "come to Jesus" speech.

InshaAllah the pregnancy goes well, I'm a bit worried about something going wrong, but at the same time, I was worried about getting preggo, and mashaAllah, we got preggo the first month we tried! Allah is the best of planners.

Bringing it back

I remembered today when I was reading someone else's blog, that once upon a time, I had a blog about my person life as well... I started it out in need of telling people my struggles with where I was in my deen, how work effected that, and about this super secret man that had no name... and now is my husband, mashaAllah.

I want to blog again about my personal life... to let it out, and not have to be so secretive anymore inshaAllah. So, here it is... I'm even opening up my previous posts by importing the, but I enjoy reading it as a blast from the (not so far off) past. SubhanAllah, we've all come so far. I am looking forward to the future, and sharing it as deemed necessary.