Sunday, September 14, 2008

Trying to hold my excitement...

I don't want to jump ahead of myself... but it seems like it is going to happen. The man I have been spending so much time with and holding myself from falling for... sometimes more successfully than others... he might actually become Muslim. I make du'a all the time that inshaAllah he will find the light of Islam and the truth in the Qur'an... not for me, but for Allah and Allah only and for his own salvation. I can't help but think though that this could be it. InshaAllah... InshaAllah.... InshaAllah. Allah is the best of planners.


As I write this though, I stop myself. I think of all the times that I thought this way, and he went back to feeling that it wasn't a possiblity at all. If he chooses not to follow Islam, then I'm back to square one with trying to find a husband. InshaAllah I'm guided to the best husband for me.

I want to be excited... I want to rejoice in this moment... but I don't want to hurt myself by getting my hopes up. **sigh**

I guess all my emotions need to stay in my safe, secure box... just a bit longer. **sigh** It is getting so much harder since I find out more and more about him, with each piece of information I am more and more convinced that he is the man I am looking for. The type of man that will be a good and upright husband and father.

If it doesn't work though, I just need to keep my trust in Allah that the best thing is happening, no matter what my perspective is on it.


Well, that was a rollar coaster of emotion.... **sigh**

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