Reading In Praise of Stay at Home Moms has got me thinking about some things. One is the draw for myself to continue making a wage of some sort, even if it is small. Is there more value to my "wifeliness" if I have paycheck of my own? Do I become a better mother when I can buy my kids more things? Why do we put so much concentration on who brings home monetary value and who doesn't? We act as if the only contribution is financial and all others are just bonuses.
I've tried doing things that can work around being a SAHM. I've done Pampered Chef, Shaklee, odd and end jobs for a friend that has a business, babysitting, etc. What I've found with each of these is yes, I very much enjoy having money of my own. Islamically, I do not need to share any income I make, and I am quite frugal with the income my husband brings in, so it feels nice to loosen up a bit. BUT, each time I'm doing something that makes me some money, all I can think of is how I just want to be home with my kids and husband, or be able to concentrate on them and not feel "on the clock."
I worked for years as a mother of one, juggling housework, homework (for both her and I), my job, friendships, relationships, etc. I feel that I have worked very hard to bring myself to this lifestyle that I now have; married SAHM! All for a couple dollars, I am pushing that aside?
With these jobs that I have done to make money, none of them are incredibly personally rewarding. The most rewarding "jobs" I have been involved in have been volunteer work! I go to these things because it feels great to be a part of something worthwhile, whether I get paid or not.
So, I am freeing myself of the guilt I've been harboring about not having my own paycheck. I will allow my husband to carry the complete financial load on his shoulders, as I know he is completely capable of doing. My job? To make sure everything else is in line. I like the title Director of Domestic Affairs, thankyouverymuch.